The F Word

OMG my six-year-old son likes loves to cuss. Cuss? Curse? We said ‘cuss’ growing up. Now, I feel like people say ‘curse’. Ok whatever. My point is -- the boy is SIX and he cur-cusses like a sailor!


Where the EFF did he learn all of his new vocab words?! Not gonna lie, I find using the F bomb quite therapeutic at times (I don’t know why I’m not typing out the entire word). But, I do! I mean, come on. There are just certain things that NEED the emphasis! Right?! But, I’m always pretty much always careful not to say it around my kids.

Anyhoo. He came home from school a while back and starting spewing out incorrect, yet hilarious, combos of words. Example: ‘What the shit, mom’ -- I really liked that one. I started using it myself. Thanks, son!

So, in my effort to be an awesome parent… or some may call this horrible parenting, it’s really one or the other, friends. I came up with a solution.

Look, sometimes ya just gotta get those words O.U.T. Feels good when they roll off the tongue, right? So, I held out my cupped hands and told him to say ‘em all! I mean get them ALL out. He dropped the F, S, D, B words and a few I had never heard of right there into his mama’s hands -- laughing all the way. I tried to maintain my composure but I was d y i n g because he is just the cutest, sweetest little thing with those dimples and big eyes… just saying ALL THE WORDS!

Anyway, I asked if he was finished. He said yes. I closed up my hands and opened the window and threw all the words out. I told him anytime he felt like he wanted to say one of them, that he could do it but only with me and we’d do the same thing. Say ‘em into my hands and then let them fly away with the wind!

He was totally into it. IT WORKED!

We’ve since done this little exercise a few a hundred times. But, I’m cool with it. I would MUCH rather he say it all to ME vs. his teacher. I might die.

So, there ya go! Little parenting tip. I imagine you’re either totally with me on this or you’ll never visit my blog again. Again, it’s one or the other.

Jennifer Waldman